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Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Friday, October 28, 2011
How To Drive Away Other Women Trying To Steal Your Man?
The nightmare that every woman hopes to avoid is that of other women trying to steal her man. This can be a genuine concern or it can be a paranoia that actually drives your man into the hands of another woman. So assuming that yours is a genuine concern and you simply want to avoid the nightmare of other women stealing him…what can you do to circumvent such a possibility?
Make it clear to him that cheating on you has some really painful consequences. To drive away other women you must damper his drive to cheat on you. You have to make it clear to him that you will not stand to be cheated on regardless of the reasons that he may have. Do not assume that he knows this. Make it absolutely clear and let him know what you feel is acceptable behavior between him and any other women and what you think is unacceptable behavior. Remember that you have both been socialized differently and you need to come to a consensus on what works for both of you. If you do not make the ground rules clear than how can you expect him to know when he has broken the rules? Love is not in contention here but communication. Make sure that he knows without a shadow of doubt that cheating on you is a no-go for you. And let him know what it is that you consider as cheating. Is an online romance with a woman he has never met cheating? Is talking 4 hrs a day with is ex cheating? Is taking another woman for coffee or dinner cheating? Remember that one man’s cheating may be another man’s acceptable behavior so be absolutely clear in this area.
Be every woman to him. You want him happy at home so that he has no reason to stray. This does not mean that you should pretend to be what you are not but it does mean that you work with him to make your marriage and your sex life all that it can be. If this is the relationship you want to be in for the long haul then you must put in your best efforts to make it as great as it can be. Be interested in him and his life and allow him into yours. Explore each other and give each other room to grow and you will curtail his interest in any other woman who may want to steal him from you.
Be happy with who you are and what life has given you.To drive away other women trying to steal your man you have to be magnetic to him so that other women have no hope of getting his attention and their hooks into him. A happy, confident you will be a ray of attraction to him and he will be less drawn to other women and will have more inhibitions destroying what he has with you as it is so great.
Do not let him walk all over you. Contrary to what many women imagine being a ‘yes’ women does not make him stop straying. If you have no backbone or values then guess what happens? He strays because he knows you will take him back and even if things are not as great as they once were the repercussions from the cheating will be minimal. Be strong in who you are and what you stand for and do not let him push you around. A man is attracted to someone he can respect and if you do not respect yourself then how can he respect you?
Don’t scream and nag. You may feel better after a screaming and nagging session but your man probably shut down the minute you started or he matched you nastiness for nastiness. Nothing good comes from such an encounter except to drive a wedge between the two of you. If you want to drive away other women trying to steal your man then you need to stop driving pointless wedges between you and your man. When he is emotionally disconnected from you; he is more susceptible to tempting offers from other women. This does not mean that you don’t fight but it does mean that you fight in constructive ways so that there is resolution and not a shouting match that no one wins. Fight in such a way that you both win something through consensus and are emotionally closer and not further apart after the fight.
Do not stalk him or try to curtail his freedom. Resist the irrational temptation to keep him on a leash by herding him or by stalking him. It may seem like a good idea when the jealousy bug bites but it simply doesn’t work in the long run. You demean him by doing this as it shows him clearly that you do not trust him and you exhaust yourself physically and emotionally. When he knows that you do not trust him then he will tend to untrustworthy behavior since that’s what you expect from him. People often give you what you accuse them off… so resist this dark one way street to unhappiness.
For most women there will always be another woman trying to steal your man. You love your man because he has some great attributes and other women are not blind and will see these qualities also and want him for them-selves! Be real…you cannot stop other women from being attracted to your man but you can stop your man from being tempted by these often flattering advances.
Friday, October 14, 2011
10 Ways to Keep the Love Fire Burning!
The FireProof movie was created by the same company that produced FlyWheel and Facing the Giants. I know that everyone has probably heard of it by now, but don’t just watch it as another movie…really pay attention this time. And pay attention to your spouse as they are watching it…I know that my husband and I were nodding our heads in agreement, or sheepishly laughing at some of the verbage in the scenes. We also fidgeted when the scenes of tension and disagreement were displayed. Why? Guess we’ve been there…it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married, you must keep the romantic flame alive! That’s really hard to do if you find yourself not respecting or admiring each other very much.
I’ve listed below 10 ideas to help keep the flame burning in your relationship…have fun and be creative!
1. Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman..yes, okay, another book…but a must read for all couples! You can both take the test at his website.
2. Write your spouse a love letter! It’s not cheesy…it’s just for their eyes only. Tell them what you love and admire about them…they need to know and they need to know from you. I don’t care if you’ve been married for 30 minutes or 30 years, think about the qualities that drew you to that person. What made you decide to commit to this one incredible human being? Thank them for being the best part of you.
3. If writing a letter leaves you tongue tied…how about creating a video just for them? Same rules as above…only the wonderful things that you love and appreciate about them.
4. Learn how to play! Do something spontaneous that your spouse would love, especially if it’s not “your thing”. Buy him tickets to a sporting event and go with him. Men need and want the companionship of their wife. You don’t have to go to every ballgame or play golf every time he does, but let him know that you’re willing to! Gentlemen, if your wife loves to go to plays or concerts, surprise her with a nice dinner and tickets. Putting on a tie for one night won’t kill you! Of course, there are ways to be adventurous and playful and not spend a lot of money. My husband and I go hiking together and pack a picnic in our backpacks. We love the peace and quiet of the wooded trails, and just being together is what it’s all about anyway.
5. Ladies…ask your man to teach you something about his favorite hobby…does he play tennis or golf? How about some personal instruction? Pay attention ladies, because if you don’t, someone else will!
6. Gentlemen…please pay your wife a sincere compliment…have you told her lately how beautiful she is? Have you given her a hug “just because”? Have you told her lately that “I love you”? Put down that remote and look into those gorgeous eyes and let her know how proud you are to be her man!
7. Romantic dinner for two…no children, no interruptions, no cell phones please! Whether it’s a dinner you prepare together at home, or a nice evening out with wine and flowers, make sure that you focus on the two of you. No talk of bill paying, the mortgage, the children, the neighbors, the job…talk about your dreams and inspirations; talk about future plans and yes, your feelings!!
8. Men think about sex…about a zillion times a day, even if they’re dying —that being said, ladies, get rid of the flannel pj’s and baggy boxer shorts. Please find something pretty, soft and feminine to wear to bed and let your honey know just how much you can’t wait to be held by those strong arms! If you need inspiration, there’s a reason that romance novels are flying off the shelf! Don’t substitute a fantasy in a book when you’ve got the real thing right in your bedroom!! Enough said.
9. Been by a florist lately? Well, what’s stopping you? Don’t just send her flowers once or twice a year…they really mean more to us when we’re not expecting them! You don’t have to spend a fortune either. My sweetie stops at the local grocery store, and you can buy a pretty little bunch of them for less than $10.00. Believe me, guys, this is something small that will impress her in a big way. And if you really want her to practice #8 above, take the time to find a romantic card to go with the flowers.
10. I love you, I love you, I love you. You are the most important person in my life. You cannot say these words enough, and please don’t just want until your anniversary or Valentines’ Day to say them! Life is too short my friends to waste the precious time we’ve been given. Please take the time to cherish each other, appreciate all the good qualities that your spouse has been given, and you will reap the rewards of a “fireproof” relationship.
These tips are just to get you started…over the years, we read many books together and discussed what we were learning with each other. We’ve had our ups and downs, our temper tantrums, our arguments, and yes, I ran away one day for about 4 hours! But there’s no place like home, when home is your refuge against the world; home is being held closely by your loved one and there is no sweeter place on earth.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Why Do Men Break Up with Women?
Ask a man why he dumped the girl he was dating, and he will come up with plenty of reasons. ‘I was Bored’, ‘she is not the one for me’, ‘I didn’t want to cheat on her’, ‘she called me baby, and gave me pet names!’….and several others. What makes men end a relationship for such reasons? Why do men get bored in relationships?
In a Short Term Relationship….
#Reason 1: He thinks you are not the right girl
There might have been an initial attraction, but after some time he might have realized that you are not the kind of girl he would want as his girlfriend/wife. He would never want to stay in the relationship just for the sake of it, so he decides to break up.
#Reason 2: He is a casanova
Casanovas always want spice and adventure in life, and breakup is a custom for them. May be you didn’t realize that he was one, and were expecting the relationship to work.
#Reason 3: He fears Involvement
This can be the reason to why men break up with women they love. Men love their freedom and individuality and fear it would be lost when in a relationship. In this case, he broke up because he didn’t want to get involved with you, and make it difficult for him to break up later.
#Reason 4: There is no compatibility
He didn’t enjoy the night with you, and there was no compatibility. Lack of sexual compatibility is also the reason for men breaking up with women.
#Reason 5: His ‘ex’ returns
The boy was just dumb. He realized it late that he had someone else in mind and was just pushing the relationship with you, for the sake of it. His first love must have made an unexpected arrival, and then obviously he would go for her. Breakup is imperative.
In a Committed Relationship…
#Reason 1: He is tired of the fights
The relationship is not working the way he had expected it to work. Though there was an initial magic in the relation, it has now faded. The constant fights must have bothered him and led him to the decision to end the relationship.
#Reason 2: He shows his true colors
The boy was just fooling you around and pretending to be someone nice. But he had worn a mask. Though he seemed committed to you, and had made promises, it was just for some vested interest, which was served and so he broke up.
#Reason 3: He is bored
The relationship is troubling him, he is bored. He hates your possessive nature, which restricts him from even looking at girls. Some other girls are now interesting him, he is cheating on you and will eventually break up.
#Reason 4: You are at fault
Your flirtatious behavior might have bothered him. There could have been a communication gap between the two of you. You must not have been able to ‘connect’ with him, and adjust with his nature. You might not have been able to accept him the way he is… and something like that could have led him to break up with you.
#Reason 5: It is an open relationship
Though there is ‘some’ commitment involved in an open relationship, both parties are also free to break up if things don’t seem to work. Once you had accepted it as an ‘open’ relationship, you should have also been ready to accept a break up. Now, you cannot call it his fault; it’s just that the relationship mustn’t have seemed to last long, which is why he decided to part ways.
Source: http://healthyandbeloved.com