5 things NOT worth stressing about

write a lot about dating and the stressors that come along with finding it, like where to go on a first date, meeting the friends/family, when to have sex and tips to make it hot. I don’t often get to write about what to do and how to behave once you find someone who gets your quirks and you want to be exclusive with. The actual relationship is a lot more work than the entire dating process and some things can add extra stress on a relationship when they don’t need to. By the way, as I am writing these I am trying to ingrain them in my own brain because it’s one thing to write them and another thing to practice them. Some things are just not worth getting yourself worked up about and not worth giving a second thought to.

1. “A little weight”: It doesn’t ALWAYS happen but its common. The lovey dovey stage involves a lot of dinner’s out, drinks and laying naked in each other’s arms. It’s very difficult to follow your strict Yogilatiesspinarobics when you are all wrapped up in the fun of falling for someone. You both notice a little pooch, DON’T stress about it and don’t ask every 5 minutes if you look fat. You both probably look a little fat, just work some extra sex into your daily life or get into a schedule together.

2. Facebook Status: Seriously, I even have to write this! Pretty sure there are things in the world that are real that are not on Facebook. You’re relationship does NOT need the little heart and an update to the 243 people in your network to prove you are in a real relationship. My friend Ingrid doesn’t have a Facebook and she didn’t vanish into thin air, so your relationship wont either. Also, if you do break up you’ll have to change it back to single.

3. “Your number”: Nothing good has ever come from knowing how many people your girlfriend has slept with, whether it’s 5 or 25…what does this knowledge really offer you? As long as you are both being honest about sexual health history and practicing safe sex you can also practice safe zipping your face. Don’t discuss this, it’s not important…unless you are dating an ex porn star or a virgin.

4. Ex Appeal: Probably the most challenging! You can say it a thousand times and not hear it “an ex is an ex for a reason”. Yes it’s normal to be curious and want to know some basics for instance why they broke up and if they still talk. Other than that: TME (Too Much Ex), can really harm your own mental state, whether you are fighting about it or you are doing research into what the ex does, looks like, jock strap size it can only cause damage, to your own ego mostly . Try and change the way you think about it, you are together now. They choose to spend time with you! It’s also important to remember what you share about your ex, simple details and basics if asked. No need to give someone a complex. Most likely a discussion will arise at some point so handle with care.

5. 5 Year Plan/Stages/Expectations: This is all about the two of you. You are in your very own unique relationship, nobody has ever had the same experiences you are going to have with this person so you shouldn’t follow anyone else’s “norms” or society’s ideas about a plan. The two of you get to decide your pace, when to slow down, when to speed up, when to take a vacation or meet the parents. Nobody can tell you where you should be at any stage. If the two of you are happy where you are, that is ALL that matters. Only time it’s worth analyzing is if half your duo is concerned.

AND…a few things worth thinking about (no you don’t have to stress): if you both want kids, if you believe in marriage, small mini dogs VS. actual dogs, how you spend money, if you have ever been in the joint, surgeries that involve the words trans and anything else taboo. You wouldn’t want to date someone for a year and then find out they can’t marry someone who dresses their cat up.

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