This is probably the most common mistake women make. Don’t rely on your partner to get things started every time. “When you initiate sex, it shows him that sex with him is a priority in your relationship,” says Lou Paget, author of 365 Days of Sensational Sex. “It also shows him that you relish sex for sex’s sake.” Men find this show of power sexy, and they get totally turned on by the simple fact that you want them sexually.
2. Being unresponsive in bed
Let your partner know that you’re having a great time. “Most important, let yourself go during sex,” says Sari Locker, author of Mindblowing Sex in the Real World.
Watching and hearing you get turned on makes him turned on, so go ahead and let it show. “Don’t be afraid of what sounds and words might come out of your mouth. It’s only natural and quite normal to express yourself when something feels so amazing,” adds Locker.
3. Forgetting his nipples
The nipples hold a concentration of nerve endings and are usually regarded as more erogenous in females. Which is why many women overlook men’s nipples as an erogenous zone. But nipples can be his thing, too.
“Many men have very sensitive nipples. Regardless of how sensitive they are, some men enjoy having them stimulated,” says Yvonne K. Fulbright, author of Touch Me There! Try sucking gently on the nipples, using your tongue to increase stimulation, and alternate kissing and licking the areola.
4. Making him responsible for your orgasms
“It is important for women to know that they are in charge of their own orgasm,” explains Barry R. Komisaruk, co-author of The Science of Orgasm. Because ultimately, you’re responsible for your own pleasure and satisfaction.
Don’t expect your partner to be a mind reader, start focusing on communication: Give him feedback, tell him what turns you on and how you like to be touched. If you’re uncomfortable talking about it, you can guide his hand with yours.
5. Limiting sex to the bedroom
Why restrict your lovemaking session to the bed or the bedroom? Surprise him with sex in an unexpected place.
“Men love the combination of two things: A sense of adventure, and when their women are spontaneously overcome with erotic passion,” says Lou Paget, author of 365 Days of Sensational Sex. So don’t overlook countertops, stairwells or even the balcony. By exploring new, naughty places for a nooky, you’ll be making some very steamy memories of your own.